“That’s gonna hurt…”
So have you ever ridden, don’t really care where or what discipline and found yourself looking down at the ground knowing that momentarily you would be there regardless of your intention of remaining in the saddle? Not the best feeling in the world. My most recent “that’s gonna hurt…” moment was several months ago when I was riding Blue, my big 17.1 hh OTTB dressage king. We were having a leisurely hack out in the back pasture and suddenly, without warning (well, of course there was no warning, or I would have figured out a different method of dismount) a horse fly lands on his massive butt and stings him. Despite Blue’s size and normally calm demeanor, he erupted into bucks that I never knew he was capable of. I’m talking the big, twist his head from side to side while throwing his butt over his ears kind of buck! So, what do I do in that infinitely small moment? I look down at the ground (which seems way farther away at that point than it did 30 minutes ago when mounting) and “that’s gonna hurt…” begins to play in my head. To my right is a large flat rock and to my left is an even bigger not so flat rock. Neither way is a good out. So I’m pretty much screwed at this point. I drop my stirrup irons (as getting dragged is the LAST thing I need) and hold on for dear life! Now, any polo player worth their salt knows that stuff like this happens all the time (ok, maybe not all the time, but that, of course, depends on how lucky you are when you picked your string of polo ponies) and not only are you expected to remain UPRIGHT in the saddle, but the rest of your team sees no reasonable explanation for why you would be unable to hit, block, hook or bump (sorry for all you non-polo people… polo lingo just sort of comes out). But, I’m not in a polo saddle, I’m in a dressage saddle. And I’m not lucky enough to have a pelham, gag, or other strong bit to assist me in bringing the bouncing helicopter I’m sitting on to a stop. So I begin of thinking about exit strategies… Left or right? Roll or try to land on my feet? Well, maybe a whole 3 seconds later, the decisions have been made for me as I lay on my back staring up at the underside of Blue’s neck. And what is the first thing that pops into my head? “Damn, I missed a spot with the clippers…”
